Never! those days will return

Turning back to my child hood now, I am glad that I grew with lots of experiences. But I am equally sad that I miss many precious moments which will never come to back to me in my life. The very set up of my old world had undergone significant changes. The set up, social fabric, interpersonal relations, perceptions, life style, ecology, atmosphere, greenery all underwent significant changes.  Whenever I return to my village to see my Amma, Sister and brother and their families, I terribly miss my treasures.

I loved my village where I grew up under the protection of my dad and mum. I had brisk schedules till my upper primary education having eventful mornings and evenings with my friends cycling, playing, organizing discussions and listening to radio programmes. My pedaling to the distant libraries to take books and return the red ones, walks with my father to the paddy and coconut fields, working with the labourers in the paddy fields and thereafter eating lunch with them as I listened to their experiences and life stories, early morning dash with the milk milked from our domestic cattle to the nearest milk society, attending to the small domestic jobs of bathing the cattle, cleaning the cowsheds, watering plants, rushing to the shop to buy the essentials for my Amma to help her in the kitchen, drawing water from the deep well for our kitchen and bathrooms, de husking coconuts to make copra to mill coconut oil, cleaning my father’s pride possession – bicycle , the list of assignments is endless. I was given special coaching by my dad in English and as he lavishly lie on the Easy Chair, I will sit beside him on a stool listening.  His sharing of experiences during his days in the Indian Army working in North India and in the Gulf region , his narration of stories from his childhood and his explanations to my silly queries are events I remember now.  But these are never to come back to me again.

My introspection now registers a fact that I had a strong confidence in my childhood days, since all in the village were my near and dear.  The rich and the poor, the people of all classes and all castes were my well wishers. On seeing them I smile and show my gesture of respect and love. The people who worked for my Dad in our land were treated as our own people and they were always there for us for anything and everything. The blacksmith who had a workshop near my house, the village laundry man, the provision shop owner, the person with a hat who comes in a horse driven cart from the city every week to supply us Brook Bond tea, the village man who shows his face once in a month with a bundle of new textiles on his head, the vendor who walks down with a glass box full of bangles, perfumes, eye anoints  and “bindhi”, the village postman who walks for long distances with a giant umbrella, an young boy who is summoned to our house every month to iron the clothes, the boys and girls who helped my Amma and Dad in the domestic jobs,they are all coming back to life as I write this.

 The festivities like Onam, Vishu, Deepavali etc were remarkable with the whole village seemingly involved in celebrations. Village road will be brimming with activity as people will get engaged in playing games and sports and those who win will make thundering applauses. There was a bonding relationship with every one. The vertical and horizontal connections made life smooth and joyful.

I left the village for my higher studies and from there on I found myself distancing from my heartland.  My career still distanced me away from my home sweet home. Whenever I make a return, stray thoughts of the bygone days resurrect in my thoughts. It is really sad to realize that it is never to come back. My old friends, my cousins have become grownups like me. The characters who had a profound influence in me are not to be seen in this world. The changes are inevitable but it is really sad, saddening and sorrowing to still realize that every present moment is precious but will hop off into book of history. Yes I too will become part of history and with that my sorrows will also end but the inspirations may exist somewhere in the horizon.   As I write this, the heart beat a different rhythm and eyes  full of tears and me voiceless too.  I am looking forward to the auspicious day when God will bless me with the inspiration to detail about all the Characters in my personal life.